Hoodoo Highway

A Meaningful Weekend

It has been 20 years since I lost my brother, Billy. He was killed at UCA in a freak accident. He was just beginning his junio year there. I miss him as much today as I did when it first happened. I can smile about things he did and said but I still cry when I think about him and how his life was shortened. I must say though that in his 20 years of life he truly lived it.

This weekend, 13 of us got together at a house on Greer's Ferry lake. We had a 20th anniversary get together. It was not morbid. It was not depressing. It celebrated who he was and the profound impact he had on our lives. Profound, as a word, does not do the attempt to explain it much justice. Colossal, unbounded and immeasurable might help with the explanation. Spiritual and sincere. This group has stuck together like glue since his death. He brought them all together and we remark frequently that had it not been for Billy and his death, some of these people would not be friends today. It is hard to imagine that the gregarious, outlandish and fun loving Bill would be friends with the anal retentive, number counting John. Or that anyone in the group would tolerate Ben, we not only tolerate him we love him!! It is so hard to describe. I think it is rare that you find a group of friends so entwined that 20 years later, and for some they have known each other since 5th grade, they are still such good friends.

The lake house was perfect, an absolutely beautiful place. Dano had his party barge parked down below the house. There were sunset cruises both nights. There was a table with photos, stories, memory books about Billy or things he wrote. We all laughed about him, some of us cried a little but, overall, we enjoyed that through his life we all have remained such good friends. In fact, I would say we are a family. As Dano said, you might leave "the group" for awhile and go off and do your own thing but you always come back and you are always welcome.

It was touching and telling that Johnny C made the trip from California to attend the weekend. My mom still feels so bad that his name was left off the program as a pall bearer. It hurts her to this day to think that he might have had his feelings hurt about that. I assure her he understood, mistakes happen. It was not intentional.

Dano put together some playlists for his iPod. He actually found a list that Billy had written out of music to put on a party tape (yep tape - come on it was 1987) and he recreated that list on his iPod. He went to great lengths to get one song, having to end up rebuying the cd to get the one song. A song, we all agreed, really sort of sucks!! What was Billy thinking? The song? Rhythm of the Night by Richard Marx. Yep, Richard Marx.

There was plenty of alcohol, plenty of smack talking, plenty of fun. One thing I can say is that there is nothing sacred in this group, no secrets to keep and anything and everything is discussed. If you cannot take the heat, stay away from this group - they hold no punches.

I love each and every one of these people. Dano - always and forever. I have known him the longest, since he was a snot nosed kid in about the 5th or 6th grade. William, still quiet, funny as hell and always William. Bill, well what can I say about Bill? The term bullshitter comes to mind, in the most loving way. He is a storyteller. If there is a story to be told, you need to have him tell it. "I promise". I love him tremendously and still want to kick his butt over Arkansas Underground. Ben? Well, despite that one groping incident when we were in Helena, I love him. Sure, I wanted to kick his ass, who doesn't? He redeemed himself by taking care of Michael at 1 in the morning when he was laying on the bathroom floor from too many Patron shots. Bobby, god love him - so uptight and in need of some relaxation. Bobby is sweet, has an relationship with Star Trek and needed a little prodding to get him into the spirit of the party. John? How can you not love John. He is sweet and funny as all hell. John is the ultimate "white man dancing" but he gives it his best. Rain man we call him, well that and other things. Teresa? Oh my, is there a sweeter person on the face of this earth? NO! She has the kindest heart and the most talented hands (massage - get your mind out of the gutter). Her generosity and spirit are so uplifting. You cannot help but smile when she starts to dance because the happiness is written all over her face. Johnny C? Still the same. My mom always said he was the sweetest, quietest little boy (???) ummm I think he can be quiet but do not let that quiet exterior fool you. Michael, Angie, Becky and Chad did not know my brother, well they never met him. I can assure you they "know" him.

I am thankful to have these people in my life. They are real, they are true and they are forever. Thanks to Billy - we all have each other.

posted by Deb @ 5:18 AM